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So here begins a love-inspired tale;
Two lovers' quest for union did prevail,
Though separation forceth sparks to die,
A joyful, perfect rapture can't deny
A passion that engulfs like waves of sea,
A love triumphant knocks the enemy,
A fervor that can set the sun a blaze,
But gentle like the warmth of He'lio's rays.
Like binding links titanium, love abides,
Like drug's euphoric feel that ne're subsides,
Like golden spheres of morn that rise each day,
This love between two loves pass not away.
But love alone will breed lament'ble fate,
But wholesome blooms conserved by nature's state,
And through an apparition lovers learn,
The truth and charm of nature soon discern.
I praise thee spir'ts beyond the cosmos, Muse!
Agape pow'rs above I owe my dues.
Protection's granted those beneath love's spell,
Now all is swell for this conclusion's well.
This tale begins a many years ago,
When love between two lovers bloomed although
Religion's rules restricted their embrace;
Young Christian Queen adorned with finest lace
Of purest white and bangles gold clamp wrist:
Recipient of suitors' finest gifts.
But none were found delightful or of muse,
Desiring for more burned 'neath her shoes.
Naivety and ig'nrance cloaked her thirst,
But prayer a many pleads the cure of cursed.
And kept in dark this Queen from birth age since,
So God bestows a gift in form of Prince:
A man possessed with knowledge 'bundantly:
Of ways the world and wonders ought to be.
A soon to be escaped and transformed wife,
The Queen, who's Ema, journeys into life.
Iskander, Prince Iraq, came cross the land,
To seek ethreal eternal proper hand.
His mission, give provisions to the eyes,
And battle storms of colour and of prize.
Upon a well of water wet his cup,
He fills his needs then slowly eyes set up
Upon the very beauty of the Queen,
Who on her terrace eyes of wonder seen,
An unfamiliar face not white like dove,
But bronze like thrashers 'rousing newborn love.
But though unsure he from Islamic faith,
The Queen a prying thirsteths for a taste.
So days since thence where meetings by the well,
As she and he their private stories tell,
Until at last Iskander asks with glee,
"Oh Ema, Christian Queen, come 'way with me.
Together out we'll climb this box at hand,
And 'way from all instruction leave this land!
For minds like ours no longer captive be,
Like slice 'mongst slice exists more galaxy,
For life on earth is death and fate to die,
Embark upon new wonders you and I."
In search to be enlightened and beguiled,
The daring two take house amongst the wild,
For under nature's true serenity,
Came end t'auspicious quest for liberty.
For from the field is yielded man's main need,
Untampered native soils grow no greed,
Should come to pass that sickness risketh death,
So Eden's fruit of life dispenses breath.
A peaceful calm consumes the Prince and Queen,
For bills and recognition not they fiend,
While 'cross the way their kin concerned their 'bouts,
That they might ne're return crossed not their doubts.
But young and fierce the two laid bare their way,
So never to return from whence they came.
Two hearts engrossed inquisitive anew,
Encouragement for want of insight grew,
And like a gift from Hekate bestow,
The Prince and Queen would see what man can't know.
For Ema as to satisfy an ache,
Elects enchanting mushrooms by a lake.
Like Ad and Eve ensnared by dirt of sin,
Together they injest the veg within.
Not long for such a blissful swing commence,
As paint and pattern metamorph in dense
Illusionistic sights before the soul,
Such visions that give birth to man as whole.
And possibilities drive thoughts a curled,
This ecstacy, this dream reveals the world!
And all its horridness for life possess,
A circumstance by Devil's hand did bless.
Abuse to earth now barren through the stone
Of man's creations, man's desire to own
This open meadow vastly green is Earth,
Which bore the man not man the land give birth!
Continuance of vibrant visions voice,
The sky unfolding breaks all chance of poise,
For there within the orfice of the blue,
They witness death a leaking blackened hue,
At last released and staining soft silk cloud,
The dark'ning skies throw thundering aloud,
As forceful winds start staggering each breath,
They then attested moments prior death.
The fantasy of truth but still persist,
Reality of trueness can't resist
To spill the naked scene of certain strife,
And from a diferent world they looked 'pon life.
In meantime both their blood were bubbling 'fraid,
For Prince Iraq had plundered Christian maid!
And so the King his soldiers sendeth forth,
To seeketh out the couple south and north.
They trampled growth and livestock wherest they marched,
Poor care for gardens grand so rendered parched,
Machete sliced at luscious leaves of green,
Thus ang'ring Gods such meagre conduct seen!
And so great goddess Leda plagued the town,
She struck a yonder mount with blasted sound,
Eruption shook the grounds but quick subside,
As fury red seeped down the mountain side,
And quick like fire the virus swarms the creek,
To soon so eager launch a murder streak.
As villagers collect their daily share,
Their mindless appetite disguises snare,
Each bucket filled with water from the well,
Does generate a ring of mourning bell.
Not long till haut abodes are gone bereft,
For soon each dwelling had but no one left.
Now back the Prince and Queen in paradise,
Together joined in break from concious life,
But soon enough intoxication dies,
And there they lay a gaze into the eyes.
What awe have both we seen? they thought aloud:
From nature gift of truth and shield endowed,
For who so touches earth with gentle hand,
Shall ne're to be forsaken by the land.
From thence they start anew to flourish great,
In hopes to build for man emboldened fate.
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The Courting Game
by Mrs. Clark
Oh, Hail! the softest snow dost fall so light!
It heaps upon the castle wall so high.
And winter frost a glitt'ring silver lights
Thro' all the window panes of coloured glass,
Conceals the secret and ambitious ways
And blinds the eye to adventure inside.
As ladies dance in masquerade and wait
For lovers to take their small hand and kiss,
And tremble at the compliments so fair
That will begin the night time courting game.
The weather may be cold and full of fear,
But ladies laughter breaks the howling winds
And gentleman doth take them arm in arm,
To dance all night beneath the candle light.
The ladies with treasures bask in the glow;
The rubies, diamonds, pearls a brightly shine.
All things so grand they must be from afar,
For nothing is too exotic tonight.
And all the ladies wish to find with ease,
The prince of her beating breakable heart.
The ball has just begun and now you see,
These frivolities that adorn all the girls.
The jewels fine, and fabrics rich and fair,
From India and places far and wide.
They care not of the price of vanity!
Oh! What a vision it is to behold,
Of all the riches from the world divine.
The rainbow of colours sweeping their way
In gold and blue and magenta so bright,
Like regal Princesses across the floor.
The men they watch beaming ladies dancing.
The game of courting shall begin with looks
Of pure desire from their sparkling eyes,
Amid beautiful vibrant cloths that sway.
The beginning of young love starts so quick
Like all the snow from heavens clear black sky.
The silver snowflakes swirling down gently,
Upon the manor's glitt'ring grounds of white.
The setting perfect for courting thy love
With kisses sweet and tales of adventure.
As time doth fly, they talk of quests afar,
Her eyes so wide of trips to India,
Where came the jewels upon her fair skin.
The men they brave the dangerous blue waves,
To bring the finest merchandise to her.
Each woman looks at another to see,
Who wears the finest of the treasures bright.
The men they tell of their next trip to sea,
And the fabrics and of brocade they'll bring
In Gold and red and azure patterned silk.
The men they have triumphed as it does go,
The women they've won with exotic gifts
Of finest treasures grand and coloured bright.
So snow did fall upon the grounds this night,
During the warm courting of ladies fair.
The crystals of white fell on window panes,
With coloured glass like jewels strung on necks.
The night is all done, but now you can see,
Those brave enough to find true love tonight,
Will live happily ever after now.
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A Universal Lesson
by Mrs. Garratt
With great pity this tale I do convey
Oh Muse! Your help is needed to relay
A song relating society's cruelty
T'wards a lady attempting at duty
But why I ask can people not be pleas'd?
No matter how she tries she'll still be teas'd!
The perfect image not able t'attain,
A lady slim, tall, full chested; ingrain'd.
Specific dress is set before her too,
Cry's out, "Money! In abundance are you!"
Our maiden has none of these things to show,
So poors the direction this tale must go.
'Twas in the classroom we first see our maid,
Shy at her desk eyes down upon the page.
And although concentrat'd she did look,
Her eyes were not focus'd on any book.
She was busy absorb'd on certain lips.
(Ones at fault for many awful tips)
Precious knowledge she had need to gain,
About a gentleman she longed to tame.
She had eye'd him up and down school halls.
Flutter'd her lashes and peek'd around walls.
But she did all of it to no result,
For with her he would not even consult.
Oh the woes of not being a beauty!
To her everyone acted so snooty!
(P'rhaps if she had money, things could be chang'd,
As she did not, something new she'd arrange.)
So now on those lips she wast'd her time
Trying to decipher another's rhyme
For across the way sat Lady Mary,
Skin white as milk, and lips red as berries.
She happen'd to be the school's greatest catch,
And was speaking of rumours latest match.
Betty cross'd her fingers, said a quick pray'r.
Hop'd en'my and love woudst not be the pair!
Alas! Out of Mar's lips came, "Me and Will!
The whole school's a buzz, they can't get their fill!"
Betty fell swooning she couldn't compete,
Fled out of the room, a comfort to meet.
At home lying down, clutching a toy bear,
Thinking that circumstance was quite unfair,
There suddenly sprung a thought to her head!
So brilliant it was, she leapt off the bed!
" I'll get him a gift so thoughtful, so nice,
With no money or beauty I will suffice!"
Her plan was quite perfect, it coudst not fail!
She'd teach him beauty side true love would pale.
For this quest she ready'd to take her leave,
And for William find a gift to retrieve.
Great need of the gods there was on this trip,
And so pray'd and ask'd to not let her slip.
She ask'd for a sign to lead her the way,
And point t'wards the place to go forth this day.
At that very moment a stack was tipp'd,
By supernatural forces gripp'd!
There face up lay an add from the paper,
Words large in size, then off did they taper.
It read, "Need a way to prove your great love?
We'll come in handy when push comes to shove!
This gift however comes not without cost,
Don't bring your money, with us it is lost.
We desire labour! Come work for us here,
In return you'll get a gift for your dear.
Ne'er could there ever be a sign more clear!
She'd take on this task, the time was now near.
Off Betty went to find the list'd place,
The journ'y was long, worry fill'd her face.
If she coudst not find it, what would she do?
She'd be lost! And Mary'd get William too!
After riding abroad for six days long,
Betty found a house! She hadn't been wrong!
She rapped on the door, the add in her hand.
She trembled slightly, but tall did she stand!
"Come in, come in!" cried a voice from inside,
"You've read my add? By the rules do abide?"
"I do" answer'd Betty, "I'm desperate!
I no longer want to be temperate!
I'll be notic'd once I obtain this prize,
I'll give it to Will and dazzle his eyes!"
A contract she signed promising to stay
And work for no more than three months to the day.
The work was tough! She toiled, pour'd blood and sweat,
In a room where ev'ry corner's a threat.
She carried out the labour making soap,
And avoiding passes of men that grope.
After three long months she finish'd her time,
Made her way to the boss in a straight line.
"I've done whatst thou ask'd I've work'd hard for you,
Your end of the bargain please follow through."
"Aha! The last laugh I'll have homely maid,
A slave you've become, so dost as I bade!"
Balling up her fist, the man she knock'd out,
Her blood afire she went to look about.
In a case of glass a sword she did spy,
Jewel encrust'd, worth as much as to die!
Taking it, an inscription she notic'd,
Surround'd with small blue flow'rs of lotus.
It read, "Who e'r is presented with me,
Will fall for the giver eternally."
With her prize Betty took the long ride back,
And seeing William, courage not in lack,
The gift was brought forth, and plac'd in his grasp,
On knees claim'd love, and at feet didst clasp.
"Oh William, now we'll fore'er be but one!
A happy ending, our love story spun!"
He look'd at her with an amus'd surprise,
And that moment, she knew, 'twas her demise.
"Betty though this be'est boundlessly kind,
I have another lady's heart in mind.
Whate'er you surmis'd about this old sword,
Won't change that with your face I'll soon be bored!"
Taking his leave William enter'd the night,
And poorest Betty ne'er did win her fight.
This is evidence of expectations,
Women are naught but classifications!
Beauty is a tool all of women need,
As well as money to fulfill men's greed.
Know true love dost not exist- but in lie.
Beware of your heart when a man you spy!
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Trapp'd Soul
by Mrs. Leese
AND down the stairs the glory does descend,
And within my very breast he shall ascend.
He who is saviour of my wither'd heart,
Poetry to my life; where all shall start.
In ev'ry sweet inhaled breath he shall take
Breathes full into my lungs and I awake,
Filling my form with life I had not known;
Stealing to sell my feeling of alone.
The heart within my breast did love the vain
And did vainly love to receive the pain;
But now, my heart doth see something so Real;
This something the heart can touch and it does Feel.
But Alas! The sharp, shatter'd, broken mind;
Holds a possessor, an enemy inside,
Who silently whisp'rs doubts to chastise,
Villainously slipping in loathsome lies;
Only to leave an oozing stinging puss
That shall be all forev'r venomous.
Hephaestus, fire god, my pain he shall release
As done for mighty Zeus but not t'increase.
The god of the smith, could hold high his axe
And it shall fall strong to my head and relax,
And I alone give birth to the lone life
Which resides in my skull and gives me strife
That does vilely gnaw at proud possessions:
Confidence, Love, Happiness, and Passions.
Tears of my Fears shall not fall like before;
For my shy hero will be conqueror
Of my demons and shall release with less force.
My only Love's will -and his Just discourse-
Shall silently steal my unwelcome guest
And with just one need'd word, one request,
Easily he might lift one so lowly
That it shall rescue the trapp'd Soul slowly
Which lies deep within my shell doom'd to age.
Release me! from bottomless pit; my cage
And from the deadly dungeon of my mind;
Take me from this very Pain so unkind.
You're alike to th'one who sav'd ev'ry soul
With Passion so great and Love in controll.
But your work is only in need by one;
Inside me you may be wild, Free, undone
And have a place to be safe from Feeling.
For although tortur'd I am here, living;
Your occupancy could warm this freezing shell
And then you may feel a home; a frozen Hell,
One that only dark bitt'rness could make.
A dwelling neith'r you nor I could forsake.
Take me to thy Heart, hold me to thy Soul.
Time will be Immortal when we are whole;
As one, the end could be so close, so far;
We shall see radiance like that of a star.
My Love, think of us as Heav'n on Earth,
Our love so Free smilingly g'ving birth.
Just one touch is all I shall ever need
-A touch that shall make a dieing heart bleed-
To save me from burning cold, Lonely Hell.
You hold the key to my dungeon cell.
Unlock my gate! Feel the joys I can bring!
Dive into my being! Hear my Pain spring!
Gentle you are and gentle you may be,
I love all in one; that is only thee.
None of the riches I could e'er acquire
Would reach my feeling for you, my desire.
Has Eros come into this room tonight?
How did he know true love was here in site?
His golden moth'r could not have sent him
For we are Pur'r -and not so much grim-
Than even that golden goddess' home.
Pur'r than even her birth; ocean foam.
Aphrodite, who would have us'd deceit
To rip you from above -to my seat-
But I know our Love is Lovingly true
For the laught'r-loving one's hard review
Would make us think deep with our Lustful loins.
But Eros beats the heart and true love rejoins.
I shall cry for you; I wish you knew it.
But speak, I cannot, a word to admit
Songs in which my heart does voice to me.
Like mine, your mouth is locked fast with a key,
I know not what chatters in thy beaten heart.
Hope is still Hope ev'n though we are apart
And truth lies in the whispers of the glance
That speaks words of song and of sweet romance.
Togeth'r our souls and eyes will immerse
In something silent; let our hearts converse.
Rememb'r, thy soul knows its companion;
Both shall sing their song warm of Love as one.
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The Precipitant Gale
by Mrs. Osborne
Ere laden Ships approach their Native Shores
And circulate for Coin their Foreign Stores
Ere they reveal to Monarchs' questing Eyes
Reflecting Jewels for Public Enterprise–
A Captain steer'd his Craft o'er wine-dark Waves
To measure Clashing Rocks and Hollow Caves
He tempted Heights of Latitud'nal Awe
To scape a Lord's censure through Ancient Law.
His gather'd Crew describ'd the Distant Climes
That Few could know except by Poets' Rhymes.
He conquer'd Diverse Tongues and dress't Command
As Alexander reign'd o'er waxing Land–
I sing to him whose Wares gain Public Praise
Whose Journey should Men's Lips recall to phrase
Let Him amuse my Mind who could inspire
Applauding Hands for my Linguistic Fire!
What Distant Power deign'd to form, conceive
The rank'rous Winds that rous'd him on that Eve
When vivid Forms advanc'd on dulling Sky
He trac'd their Drift through Telescopic Eye
Summn'ing Sleeping Crew upon the Decks
T'equip their Arms against ill-match'd Suspects–
As Polyphemos heeded Foreign Sails
Conceiving utter Threats through cutting Gales
The Captain fir'd round the Barge's Force
To claim translation of their Umbral Course!
O'er clam'rous Waves a single Echo strain'd:
"I bear no arms save Fortune's Order chain'd!
Neath Ancient Moons my Fathers fish'd the Strand
Of Laomedon's vast Realm, as Lords rule Land.
But lo! Poseidon's monstrous Fancy raged
On Troy and on Sea-Servants cruelly waged
By endless Tillage lining Barren Coast
Ne'er finding Nets ful-bless't by Former Host.
My house, Sea-Banish'd liv'd upon the Rocks.
I beg Sea-Passage ere my Life-Blood docks!"
"Subdue your Ancient Tale in Journeys New!
"Come take my Hand, Grand Sir, and join our Crew!"
That Chief undaunted by Divining Lore
Then pull'd Him up, and handed Him an Oar.
Thus Machinations strange lur'd Plotting
Fates
To ‘tract the Gods abreast the Sea-Sage Mates.
Cross Heaven's Arch grey-gathring Clouds
then crept
And Zeus upon the daedal Ropework wept
Poseidon bade his wat'ry Stallions leap
Til Triton shook his Spear, fierce-rous'd from Sleep.
Aurora tipp'd the Compass one Degree
And Boreas burst the Sails at Sixty-Three!
That Chief quick-charg'd his Men to sacrifice
Their Wait for War-Won Fame, quit Cards and Dice!
The Wheel and Windlass guard, the Canvas Thrum
The Run and Rudder tend, put down the Rum!
Lest Hades drown one Voice in Churning Black
As Helle slip'd from Argonautik Track.!
His Decks secur'd, down snaking Ladder's Scale
By Passage base, on Sapience's Trail
He cross'd sharp-tilting Frame of Cabin's Port
Straight to Time-stablish'd Wealth from Hermes
Court.
Through sloping Shelves he search'd the scatter'd Script
On Condamin's Charts his Fingers slip't
(That Oblate Earth repress'd on Stacked Charts' Cube
Fast neath the Weight of Torricelli's Tube.)
‘Gainst pitching Ship he brought the clutch'd Map near
As Atlas grasp'd from Space this Rot'ry Sphere–
But Lines converg'd without directive Course
And fail'd to steer his Mind from Troublous Source
He turn'd to Tables, plundring Zonal Maps
Circumferentors at Sea-Meters' lapse,
Torquetums, when the Quadrants shrank Light's Slope,
Then Astrolabes and Imag'd Telescope.
Yet instrumental Raids could not suggest
What forag'd his Thoughts in Ancient Almagest!
He seiz'd this Text, consum'd its Mazy Scope
Directed Schemes anew from fore-found Hope
Compos'd a Lofty Speech on quick Ascent
T'inspire men with featly-versed Intent.
He gravely bade them hear his Sages Wise
And hold their Plaints, he'd fast Soliloquise!
"All Ancient Mystries, Tempests New abate
Should We direct our Mission towards the State!"
The Case entire summ'd in Precept tight
I shall refrain to track their Homeward Flight
Save noting when, that Craft rich-vested moor'd
With Pomp, and facile Crowd's Amazement lur'd
The Captain trip't on Unmarked, Straggling Twine
And pitch'd O'erboard, I promptly threw a Line.
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Rayah
by Mrs. Pugliese
For Rayah love is overwrought,
With kind express'n and tender thought,
The only way to her fine heart,
Is on these hands through body parts
Though one may fantasize the fair,
To weight desire with great care,
True nothing's said what's oft' been thought,
Until there's no chance of being caught
Then shocking is a girl's true will,
Her pulse, her virtue will not kill,
So lures me to her marriage bed,
To show her things she's never said
And underneath the flower belt,
Where oceans wait and I have felt,
Desire run along my wrist
I drank the dew and softly kissed
Her lovely back arched up in song,
She needs not to be rush'd along,
But stay a while in that sweet place,
That makes her blood rush to her face,
He conquers her but ne'er does find,
The fortress that requires time
Still pokes the earth and plants his flag,
O'er several draughts prevails to brag
Of stories that are rightly mine;
Truth's fumbled movement of the blind,
But she has not the heart to tell;
Men never take this news too well.
So while he's gone she calls me in,
To finish what he did begin,
All patience for the rush was spent,
In all she suffered to pretend
And in her I find one more way,
To make her cry out once again,
My name-- that ne'er sounded so sweet
As when she calls it out to me
Small stones I hold in fingertips,
Both damp and sweet across my lips
I low'red my head for one last taste;
Soon he'd return to take my place.
When rapture peaks and then declines,
In just one night a hundred times,
She falls to sleep and falls from grace,
And suffers circumstance of place
I fell to sleep too in her bed,
Again--He came in as I fled,
And every night that I steal in,
'Tis sure I must steal out again.
When he is there her every limb's,
Relaxed desire under him,
Feigns coyness to escape the shame,
Of wanting to release the same
But when she's freed from shackled flesh,
To heights she soars -body possessed,
Worn out entwined in tangled sheets
True pleasure wrapped up in this dream.
So men if you return to find,
The curtains blown round by the wind,
You can suspect I have been through,
To do her what you could not do.
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The MARTYRDOM of
St. Vespoli of US and A
by Mrs. Wan
A tale about the ship that ran aground
Of fate divine unheard of to be found
The bravest young seamen pushed off from shore
Became a story worthy of folklore.
Who meddled with the temper'ments of gods?
Poseidon swigged his shelter dry and broad.
The drunkard, sending these poor lads to death
Without their souls, the future is bereft
Eight strapping gentlemen of the new world
Were stranded for eternity like churls.
A wat'ry grave so near for eight to feel
The boatswain cried, "Sit still, we're dead, the keel!"
"Abandon hope, there's nought a thing to do
To shallow, muddy death goes our fresh crew."
The hour of rooster's call is soon to come
For rescue, did await the nine damp chums.
The cold bites hard; does not release the bones
All thoughts death turn: "we might just die alone."
The sinners scrap the way of libertines
Out stories come about repenting teens.
Most foul and vile sins young men can commit
Of play amongst the ladies, piss, and shit.
About fluids that ought to remain hush'd,
And safe words forgone in the heat and rush.
When all thoughts of salvation are in bits,
Forbidden love springs forth from morbid wits.
A man who loves another is no tart.
So go forth, gentlemen, open your hearts.
They each desire to marinate flank steak,
And don't mind the least to reciprocate.
A metaphor for breading jumbo shrimp,
They do not parley cars when they say 'rim'.
O hark! Away with man-love for the docks,
When harlots there delay in hunting jocks.
The sav'iour hath arrived to wrench them from
This muddy grave and society's shuns.
But ho, what now? The rescue will not work?
A life must be proffered: go forth, young Turks!
Exchange for nine, three lives for greater good.
The weight'est four must go, 'tis understood.
To sacrifice young virg'nal lives is stiff
When saviour is commander of the skiff.
Which four of nine look lardiest to he?
Seat six, seat five, seat four, this makes but three.
The hero's gaze falls straightly 'pon the cox.
Self-worth is gone, 'fat', even without rocks?
Not stones enough to match each deadly sin.
But ample bulk to wreck the precious fin.
With life on hold for half the brave young souls,
A sacrifice, repaid: unlikely goal.
The rest on venture to the deep black void.
Main meat removed to make the Spirit buoy'd.
And here, strikes the coincidence divine:
A relic found, so worthy of a shrine.
Most holy headpiece buried in the sludge,
It can compare to great divin'ty fudge.
Remains from ancient mariners long gone,
Lost miles away, on now a pure light shone.
O blessed toque, nine lives you now have saved.
The fatties' lives no longer must be waived.
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The LAUREAT's
Answer to the POETS
by Mr. Cibber
My Brother Poets all are d–n'd severe,
Because I've got a hundred Pounds a Year;
They rail, they write, and threaten dire Disgrace,
And each is angry he has not the Place.
But let these worthy Gentlemen consider,
As a Dramatic Poet, I'm best Bidder:
My Careless Husband I'll transmit to Fate,
With any Comedy produc'd of late.
O! but, say they, He's a sad Wretch at Rhime.
Why, Gentlemen! Is that so great a Crime;
If want of Jingle, I supply with Sense,
I to the Laurel have a just Pretence.
Scribblerus Patesco
by Mrs. Cavell
Though G–'s Opera found itself renown,
I concern Myself with a higher Crown.
S— may find joy in Feigning his own Death,
But I live on and am still Favoured yet.
Of all these Petty Scribblers, one is worst
He's crowed, he's cawed, and he has even curs'd,
He slurs, he slights, his Envy in all forms,
As for his Form, t'was damaged when t'was born.
His name is known in a widest scope,
Does one know him yet? His name is surely P–.
And as he lives I shall persist to proclaim,
He thinks he Rules, yet all he holds is Shame.
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The Battle of Med-Syd
by Mrs. Tanner
Of frosh’s first disobedience, and the fruit
They threw, and of many a resolute
Of their great deeds, their wounds and gore
Crusaders in the great cause of their floor.
This battle, long, long, ago, near ten years,
Fated eternal who would buy the beers,
And this tale of our heroes spread afar;
From the Thames river, to the campus bar.
From a small rabble, Abner stands to lead.
The others gather, and to his words they heed.
Design emerges into a surprise,
But few of the crew will to danger rise.
“We’ll be heroes, we’ll get girls,” Abner claims,
Though hesitant, the rabble thirsts for fame.
Enthusiastic, to the caf they go,
To arm themselves with condiments to throw.
Bold Mikey thieves eggs, to throw from afar,
While Angela; old fruit, smelling bizarre;
Jon grabs ketchup, to fill enemies with dread,
Abner holds flour high above his head.
They wore black garbage bags, cunningly made,
To prevent spashback from the condiment crusade.
Then, on strange new paths, our heroes set out,
Through the Med-Syd tunnels, a chaotic route.
Alas, when they reached the enemy stairs,
They beheld a rez Don presiding there.
“Where are you going?” He boom’d at our herd
“What’s under your sweater? You look absurd!”
But Mikey thinks fast, and shoots a reply
“There’s frosh funnelling whiskey we pass’d by!”
Distracted, the Don runs into the tunnel,
To avert consumption of rye by funnel.
Now carefully, our crew ascends the stairs,
The smell of beer, like a cloud, lingers there.
Smelling this, the group is stimulated,
‘Tis easier to beat people intoxicated!
Finally the group reaches the plateau,
And nod to each other, just before they go.
Then with armour intact, they rush the door
Bursting on to the foreign rival floor.
The floor is caught, unprepared for the siege.
Our heroes begin the barrage with ease.
Mikey and Angela throw the eggs and fruit,
The enemy attempts escape, with Jon in persuit.
Jon brings them down, his wrath ensuing;
Much ketchup is spilled, the foe is undoing!
Then, just as the foe begins to regroup,
Abner steps forward from the back of the troop.
The final assault comes with the flour,
Which hits them, a white and powd’ry shower
This marks the end, and the foe surrenders;
Beer is promised for our heroes’ bender.
With a 2-4 in hand, our victors return
To share with their people the prize they have earned.
Back through the halls they travel, with a shout,
Of their floor’s grace, to which they are devout.
When they arrive, their people give a cheer--
For they have won both the glory and the beer.
But all this noise rouses a sleeping Don,
Adverse to all this clamour before dawn.
Furious, he confiscates the 2-4,
Tells them all to go to bed, slams his door.
Ketchupy and humbled, the floor goes to sleep.
All the power in rez, the staff would keep.
And it was said, the next night, heard by some,
Were the shouts of drunken Dons, in early dawn.
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