THE SISTERHOOD IN TRAVEL
By Megan Shervey
Luciano de Crescenzo once said "We are all angels with only one wing, and
we can fly only by embracing each other." The truth in this advice is
clearly exhibited in all travelers, but especially between women (http://www.women.com) . There are many reasons for the friendships that form
between women who meet on foreign ground, and although the purposes,
outcomes and details of these relationships vary, all of them support the
notion that travelling creates a unique sisterhood between women. In the
South American travelogue Nothing to Declare, Mary Morris and her friend
Catherine provide an example of a friendship founded in travel, and looking
at their relationship gives clues to why this bond between women forms.
" The entire sum of existence is the magic of being
needed by just one person"
Vi Putnam
The fact that Mary and Catherine need each other, even if only briefly at
different points during their travelling friendship, is a key characteristic
of these relationships. Many women find themselves at their most vulnerable
when travelling alone, and discover the physical, psychological and
emotional exhaustion of taking care of themselves. It is often at these
points that women find other women to support them, and thus a friendship is
solidified from mutual need. After witnessing death, Mary finds herself
weakened during her journey through South America in Nothing to Declare, and
it is at this point that she is most grateful for her friend Catherine, whom
she has only met while in Mexico. Despite the brevity of their acquaintance
before this point, the bond between the women is strengthened immediately
through the support Catherine is able to provide in taking care of Mary: "I
needed her to take over at this point in our trip and I was appreciative"
(p. 94). This need for a companion spans more than the need for support
during exhaustion, and also extends to the need for laughter, conversation
and fun. Mary and Catherine are able to provide each other with these, as
Mary fondly remembers "Catherine and I fell asleep, laughing into our
pillows" (p. 83).
"As rare as true love is, true friendship is rarer"
Author Unknown
The dangers facing women travelling alone are ever-present and thus cannot
be separated from the relationships formed between women, as these
friendships often serve as a replacement for the protection of a husband
figure. Mary Morris, as many other women travelers tend to do, pretends in
Nothing to Declare to be "waiting for my husband" (p. 73), when in fact she
is waiting for Catherine. Disguising their friendship as a marriage is
another aspect of many travelling women's relationships, and as a result,
questions often arise about the sexual orientation of these friendships.
Women travelling alone often long for closeness, and the emotional intimacy
they may share with their travelling friends may often overlap onto a
physical level. In Nothing to Declare, Mary appreciates a massage from
Catherine because "it was the first time I had been touched since I
arrived" (p.58). Because of the physical closeness in many female
friendships away from home, many are suspected to be of a lesbian (http://www.travel-lesbigay.com) nature.
" 'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam, be it so
humble, there's no place like home"
John Howard Payne
Another common trait of female travel friendships is their tendency to be
from similar backgrounds, or to have other significant features in common.
For Mary in Nothing to Declare, she was especially drawn to Catherine
because she was in fact a fellow American. There is significant comfort in
finding another human soul to sympathize with one's own, and especially in
times when one is far from home and everything familiar. As a result,
having home, or other characteristics in common often is part of what bonds
women travelers together: "'I sat in the dark getting drunk on Kahlua.'
'Me, tooŠI've spent a lot of nights that way.'" (p. 49). Many women
travelling alone feel a strong desire to "get close to someone here" (p.
54), but often, as in Mary's journey, those they become close to initially
are those in whom they are able to see part of themselves, or a part of
home. This is the psychology behind groups of women travelling together
from home, travel clubs (http://www.womenstravelclub.com) which
surround themselves with the familiarity of home throughout their journey.
-image: italycoast.jpg (attachment to email)
" One can never speak enough of the virtues, the dangers,
the power of shared laughter"
Francoise Sagan
Part of the uniqueness of women's friendships while travelling is the shared
experience that accompanies most of them. Often the sharing of adventures
between new friends may accelerate the closeness that forms between two
women, and this bond is also strengthened by their distance from home.
Unique memories that female travelers share create an understanding that
other friends can't compare to: "Catherine and I climbed. We climbed each
temple, every pyramid" (p. 88). As these women weave one another into each
other's journeys, they also knit their spirits closer and create a
connection between them that time nor distance will be able to diminish.
Similarly, sharing trips (http://www.journeywoman.com) with other
women who have traveled as well reaffirms this bond and the fact that it may
surface between any of these women travelers (http://www.HERmail.net).
"More than kisses, letters mingle souls"
John Donne
Lastly, a varying trait of these relationships formed between women
travelling is their tendency to continue correspondence after journeys,
while others may go their separate ways and leave their shared experiences
at their destinations. A critical aspect of the friendship however, is
often the absence of expectations for the future, as in Nothing to Declare
Mary "assumed I'd never hear from her again" (p.100). However despite the
lack of expectation for continuing correspondence, these travel sisters
(http://home.att.net/`buvyuen/road.htm) often do find themselves
keeping in touch and continuing their friendships for many, many years,
sometimes even for the rest of their lives: "A letter would be awaiting me
upon my return" (p. 100). Women may not even recognize the magnitude of the
bond they have formed with each other while travelling, but often their
shared experiences connect them forever and add to both of their lives a
special kind of friendship. As a result, many women who travel are eager to
form new friendships (http://www.HERmail.net) with more of their
fellow females on journeys.
" A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human
creature is constituted to be a profound secret and mystery to every other"
Charles Dickens
In conclusion, there exists a phenomenal connection amongst women travelers
around the world, and its presence is a comfort to women who meet each other
while journeying. Because of the commonalties they are able to find between
them, the support they are able to provide for one another, the closeness
that enhances a journey and the power in their shared experiences, many of
these women are able to form lifelong friendships. Consequently they often
reach out to other women travelers and continue the chain of unique
friendship that exists between these women worldwide. More than a club,
there seems to be a sisterhood between them, as if shared journeys, emotions
and experiences become shared blood. Perhaps this connection is one that
one can only understand through being part of it, and hopefully all of us
will have such an opportunity to embrace each other and fly.
Works Cited and Consulted
Morris, Mary. Nothing to Declare. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company. 1988
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